pafta

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the stupid crap a boss says when they're high and everyone else is wasted

'We're going to change the world,' he said, then fell off the couch.

'This is the best plan ever,' she said, then ate a whole pizza.

'You're all failures,' he said, then cried into a bag of chips.

the dumb stuff people say after a joint that makes zero sense and sounds like a bad dream

'I think I'm a chicken now,' he said, then tried to peck me.

'The moon is made of cheese,' she said, then tried to eat it.

'I’m the king of the universe,' he said, then passed out on the floor.

the trash talk that comes out of someone’s mouth when they’re high and everyone else is laughing at them

'I’m going to be a billionaire,' he said, then asked for money.

'I’m the greatest rapper ever,' she said, then tried to rap to a cat.

'I’m going to conquer the world,' he said, then fell asleep on a couch.

the nonsense a rich person says after a joint that sounds like a bad movie script

'I will build a spaceship,' he said, then tried to fly out the window.

'I’m going to marry the sun,' she said, then tried to kiss a lamp.

'I’m the chosen one,' he said, then cried into a bowl of cereal.

the dumb stuff that comes out of people’s mouths after a joint that makes no sense and is super annoying

'I’m a dragon,' he said, then tried to breathe fire out of a toaster.

'I’m the president,' she said, then tried to sign a napkin.

'I’m going to take over the world,' he said, then fell asleep on a chair.