paedophilemma

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When you're stuck between getting with a kid who's almost old enough and getting yelled at by everyone or ending up in jail.

'I can't decide if I want to date her or get arrested.'

'He's 16. I'm 18. It's not statutory rape... it's just statutory annoyance.'

'I'm not a monster. I'm just a monster who's not sure yet.'

Trying to figure out if you're a hero or a pervert based on how close the kid is to being legal.

'If she was 18, I'd be a legend. At 16, I'm a creep.'

'He's 17. I'm 20. I'm not a pedophile. I'm just a half-decent guy with bad timing.'

'I'm not a monster. I'm just a monster with a calculator.'

Being too scared to chase a crush because they're almost old enough and you don't want to end up on the news.

'She's 15. I'm 18. If I kiss her, I'll be on the 6 o'clock news.'

'He's 16. I'm 17. I don't want to be the guy who got caught.'

'I'm not getting with her. I'm just getting with her in secret.'

Trying to decide if you're cool or a loser based on whether the kid is 15 or 16.

'15 means I'm a pervert. 16 means I'm just a bad decision.'

'She's 16. I'm 18. I'm not a creep. I'm just a slightly confused adult.'

'If I date her, I'll be famous. If I don't, I'll be forgotten.'

Trying to pick between a hot kid and the possibility of being a criminal.

'I can date her or go to jail. Either way, I win.'

'He's 17. I'm 19. I'm not a criminal. I'm just a slightly delusional adult.'

'I'm not getting with her. I'm just getting with her and pretending I'm not.'

The struggle of being too old for the kid but not old enough to be cool about it.

'I'm not a pedophile. I'm just a slightly older person with a crush.'

'She's 15. I'm 18. I'm not a monster. I'm just a slightly confused adult.'

'I'm not getting with her. I'm just getting with her and pretending I'm not.'