Paedology

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5 views · Added 6d ago · 6 definitions

When an adult can't stop thinking about little kids and their tiny bodies, like they're the only ones who ever made sense.

I see a kid on the bus and I get a hard-on like it's 2003.

My cousin got caught looking at a kid's butt in the school cafeteria. He's grounded for life.

The guy at the park keeps staring at my niece like she's a snack.

A grown man's obsession with kids who still wear pajamas to school and don't know what a swear word is.

He follows my daughter to the grocery store like he's her bodyguard.

My brother's been arrested for taking selfies with a 10-year-old at the mall.

That teacher talks to the kids like they're his future and he's their past.

When someone is so messed up in the head they think a kid’s innocence is the best thing since sliced bread.

He sent a kid a DM saying, 'I love you more than your mom.'

The guy took a picture of a kid’s lunch and posted it on Instagram like it was art.

She asked my kid if he wanted to be her 'special friend' in math class.

When an adult is so lost in their own mess they think a kid’s life is the only thing that could fix them.

He kept telling my kid he was 'the best friend he ever had.'

The man followed my kid to the park and sat on the bench next to him.

My niece got a heart-shaped note from a man she’s never met before.

A grown-up who thinks kids are like little puppies and they're just waiting for someone to pet them.

He told my kid he was 'the cutest dog in the whole world.'

The guy at the park started playing with my kid like they were best friends.

He kept sending my kid messages saying, 'I love you like you're my own kid.'

When someone is so lost in their own mess they think a kid’s life is the only thing that could fix them.

He kept telling my kid he was 'the best friend he ever had.'

The man followed my kid to the park and sat on the bench next to him.

My niece got a heart-shaped note from a man she’s never met before.