Padrig

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Padrig is a mythical legend who can charm the thickest girls in the entire universe and make them do whatever he wants

Padrig walked into the cafeteria and every girl in the room forgot how to breathe.

He asked the school's most popular girl for a soda and she brought him a pizza instead.

He got detention for making the principal's daughter laugh so hard she cried.

Padrig is a chode-holding Irishman who can't keep his hands off other guys' sisters

He told his best friend's little sister a joke and now she's his girlfriend.

He tried to sneak into the movie theater with her and got kicked out.

He asked her to prom and now he has to go.

Padrig is a legend who can pull the thickest girls around and make them swoon like they've never swooned before

He just walked into the room and the entire cheerleading squad was now his girlfriend.

He said one sentence to the most popular girl and she gave him her phone number.

He asked the school's most annoying girl to dance and she said yes.