Paddy wasted

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So drunk on St. Patrick's Day you think the leprechauns are trying to steal your pants.

I tried to dance the jig and ended up face-first in a keg.

My friend threw green Jell-O at me and I thought it was a prank from the devil.

I wore my pants inside out and didn’t realize it until I passed out.

Being so wasted on St. Patrick's Day you think you’re a leprechaun with a beer belly.

I tried to talk to the bartender and he thought I was a ghost.

I took a picture of my green beer and posted it as a self-portrait.

I tried to ride a float and fell off into a puddle.

So drunk on St. Patrick's Day you think the shamrock is talking to you.

I asked my friend if the shamrock was my new best friend and he said no.

I tried to wear a hat and it fell off and I cried.

I tried to sing 'Danny Boy' and it came out like a scream.