Paddy wasted

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1
So drunk on St. Patrick's Day you think the leprechauns are trying to steal your pants.
I tried to dance the jig and ended up face-first in a keg.
My friend threw green Jell-O at me and I thought it was a prank from the devil.
I wore my pants inside out and didn’t realize it until I passed out.
2
Being so wasted on St. Patrick's Day you think you’re a leprechaun with a beer belly.
I tried to talk to the bartender and he thought I was a ghost.
I took a picture of my green beer and posted it as a self-portrait.
I tried to ride a float and fell off into a puddle.
3
So drunk on St. Patrick's Day you think the shamrock is talking to you.
I asked my friend if the shamrock was my new best friend and he said no.
I tried to wear a hat and it fell off and I cried.
I tried to sing 'Danny Boy' and it came out like a scream.
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