Paddy Wagon Points

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A way to measure how good-looking someone is, based on how much they flex and cuss.

'Bro, you got 10 Paddy Wagon Points for that abs and that mouth.'

'She’s got 15 points just for walking in.'

'He’s got 3 points because he’s still wearing pajamas.'

A scoreboard that judges how much you look like a hot mess and how much you talk trash.

'You got 8 points for that shirt and that attitude.'

'She’s got 20 points for looking like a breakfast burrito and talking like a boss.'

'He’s got 5 points for showing up and being a mess.'

A system that gives you points for how much you look like a god and how much you cuss like a sailor.

'That guy’s got 25 points for looking like a statue and cussing like a sailor.'

'She’s got 18 points for that body and that mouth.'

'He’s got 7 points for showing up and talking trash.'

A way to count how much you look like a winner and how much you talk like a loser.

'You got 12 points for that look and that mouth.'

'She’s got 22 points for that body and that trash talk.'

'He’s got 9 points for showing up and being average.'

A score that judges how much you look like a beast and how much you cuss like a beast.

'That guy got 20 points for that body and that mouth.'

'She’s got 17 points for looking like a beast and cussing like one.'

'He’s got 6 points for showing up and being a mess.'