Paddling The Pink Canoe

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A dirty way to say a girl is getting herself off, like she's rowing a pink canoe full of cum and swear words

My cousin was paddling the pink canoe in the bathroom while my mom was on the phone.

She said she was doing her homework, but I saw her phone screen lighting up like a neon sign.

I caught her in the hallway with a snack and a very confused look on her face.

Old-timey slang for when a girl is getting herself all hot and bothered with no help from a guy

Grandma said she used to do it every morning before church, and the minister got suspicious.

My aunt said she learned it from her grandma, and now she does it on Zoom.

She told her teacher she was doing math, but I know she was doing something way dirtier.