Padawanker

I saw him staring at Rey’s butt in the movie and he didn’t even blink.

He asked me to stream the new Star Wars movie so he could jerk off in peace.

He called me a ‘padawan’ because I said I didn’t know who Rey was.

He texted me a picture of Luke and Leia and said, ‘This is the best part of the movie.’

He got in trouble at work for watching Star Wars porn during lunch.

He told me he’s been dating Rey for a year and it’s all a lie.

He screamed, ‘That’s Anakin!’ and then immediately pulled down his pants.

He asked me if Obi-Wan was a ‘hot guy’ and I told him no.

He got kicked out of the theater for making a mess during the climax.

He got a hard on during the finale and didn’t even care who saw it.

He texted me a picture of a Stormtrooper and said, ‘That’s my type.’

He tried to flirt with Rey in the movie and got laughed out of the theater.

He got a boner during the movie and started twitching in his seat.

He told me he’s been dating Darth Vader for a year and it’s all a lie.

He screamed, ‘That’s my guy!’ and then pulled out his phone to take a picture.

He got a stiffy during the fight scene and didn’t even care who saw it.

He told me he’s been dating Yoda and it’s the best relationship ever.

He got kicked out of the movie theater for making a mess during the climax.