Padaphile

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4 views · Added 7d ago · 6 definitions

1
A kid who gets hard ons from little kids and thinks they’re the next big thing.
He stares at the new kid in math class like she’s a snack.
He asked the school bus driver if he could ride with the twins.
He tried to sneak into the daycare and got caught with a cookie.
2
A kid who thinks he’s cool because he likes little kids and acts like a king.
He called the principal a ‘boring old man’ after getting in trouble.
He texted his crush’s little brother to ask if he wanted to hang out.
He tried to convince the janitor he was a ‘master of the universe’.
3
A kid who gets all hot and bothered by little kids and acts like he’s the best thing since sliced bread.
He licked the ice cream cone of the second-grade girl next to him.
He tried to flirt with the lunch lady’s niece.
He asked the teacher if he could have recess with the kindergarteners.
4
A kid who thinks little kids are his main dish and everyone else is just extra.
He kept whispering to the kid in front of him during the movie.
He tried to steal the snack from the toddler’s backpack.
He asked the substitute teacher if he could sit with the babies.
5
A kid who gets a boner every time he sees a kid and acts like it’s a big deal.
He texted his crush’s little brother to ask if he wanted to hang out.
He tried to sneak into the library to flirt with the baby in the corner.
He asked the custodian if he could take a break with the preschoolers.
6
A kid who thinks he’s the center of the universe and little kids are just there to worship him.
He told the principal he was ‘too cool for school’ and walked out.
He asked the teacher if he could have a snack with the kindergarteners.
He tried to impress the lunch lady by saying he was ‘a legend’.
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