package blast

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a punch to the junk so hard it feels like your pants caught fire and your brain is now outside your head

My uncle got a package blast from his brother and now he’s crying in the shower.

She tripped into a package blast and screamed like a unicorn got run over.

He got a package blast at the office and now he’s taking a lunch break for the rest of the year.

a hit so low it makes you question why you ever wore pants in the first place

The kid got a package blast from his dad and now he’s hiding under the bed.

She got a package blast during a dance-off and fell over like a tree was hit by a truck.

He got a package blast in the middle of a meeting and now the whole office is laughing at him.

a strike so brutal it turns your manhood into a pancake and your dignity into a pile of trash

He got a package blast from his friend and now he’s walking like he just ran a marathon.

She got a package blast at the grocery store and now she’s telling everyone she’s got a new injury.

He got a package blast in the gym and now he’s too sore to lift anything.

a hit so low it makes you wish you had never been born

He got a package blast from his brother and now he’s telling everyone he’s going to get revenge.

She got a package blast at the party and now she’s hiding in the closet.

He got a package blast in the car and now he’s too sore to drive.

a strike so strong it makes your pants feel like they’re on fire and your brain feel like it’s in a blender

He got a package blast from his dad and now he’s too sore to play video games.

She got a package blast at the mall and now she’s telling everyone she’s got a new injury.

He got a package blast during a video game and now he’s too sore to finish the level.