pack your own parachute

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1
When you’re the kind of idiot who thinks putting a condom on yourself is the same as flying.
My gym teacher said I was packing my own parachute when I tried to do pull-ups with a banana in my pants.
My cousin got sent to the principal's office for trying to pack his own parachute during lunch.
My dog tried to pack his own parachute, and now he’s covered in glitter and regret.
2
You’re the one who thinks you’re cool, but you’re just naked and confused.
My brother tried to pack his own parachute and ended up wearing his mom’s socks as a hat.
My friend did a presentation on packing his own parachute and got a D because he forgot to bring the condom.
My neighbor’s cat tried to pack his own parachute and now he’s stuck in a tree.
3
You’re the kind of person who thinks getting naked in public is a good idea.
I saw my teacher packing his own parachute in the hallway and he was wearing only socks and a sock puppet.
My friend packed his own parachute during a test and got caught with a banana in his pants.
My dad packed his own parachute at a party and now he’s banned from all future events.
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