P Shed

Porter said he was going to be a king. I said, 'You're still a dork.'

He tried to explain his plan. It was like watching a toddler try to solve a math problem.

He said, 'I'm the best at everything.' I said, 'You're the worst at everything.'

He said, 'I'm the god of snacks.' I said, 'You're the god of bad snacks.'

He claimed he could beat anyone in a fight. I said, 'Even a baby could beat you.'

He called me a loser. I called him a delusional loser.

He said, 'No one else is important.' I said, 'Even your dog thinks you're annoying.'

He wouldn't stop talking about himself. I said, 'You're like a broken radio.'

He said, 'I'm the best.' I said, 'You're the worst, and I'm still the best.'

He said, 'I got an A in math.' I said, 'That's because you cheated.'

He bragged about his snacks. I said, 'Those are the worst snacks I've ever seen.'

He said he was the best at everything. I said, 'You're the best at being a pain in the ass.'

He said, 'I was the best at school.' I said, 'You were the worst at school.'

He told me he was cool. I said, 'You're cool, but not like anyone else.'

He said, 'I was the king of the playground.' I said, 'You were the king of being annoying.'