P. Dai

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When you live like a hermit, eating nothing but pizza and math problems, and you think chess and tetris are the only things that matter in life.

My life is math, chess, and tetris. I don’t even know what a real person is.

I live in my mom’s basement, and my only friends are my calculator and my Nintendo.

I skipped school to play tetris. I got a D. I don’t care.

A recruit in the navy on day one of bootcamp who’s about to get stabbed by a knife hand and called a coward.

I was so tired, I fell asleep standing up. My drill sergeant laughed at me. I cried.

My knife hand was pointed at my throat. I was scared. I didn’t know what a knife hand was.

My valuables sock was sticking out of my pants. I looked like a mess.

When a pimp gets a party so good, he’s probably getting a new car, and he’s probably getting a new girl.

Pimp day? That’s my favorite day. I get gifts, new clothes, and a new girl.

I got a new car and a new girl on pimp day. I’m living my best life.

Pimp day is when the party is so good, even my grandma came to my house.

The Friday before Thanksgiving, when the office turns into a Christmas party and people eat weird stuff that starts with P.

I brought pie, pancakes, and popcorn to work on P Day. My coworkers were weirded out.

We put up Christmas trees and played Jingle Bells. It was P Day.

I ate pizza, pretzels, and pumpkin bread. I got a stomachache, but it was worth it.

A day when missionaries are supposed to clean, write letters, and wear ties, but they end up partying all night and wearing sweatpants.

P-day was supposed to be clean, but I ended up eating pizza and playing video games all day.

I didn’t wear a tie on P-day. I wore sweatpants and ate chips.

We stayed up until 2 a. m. on P-day. I was tired the next day.

A person who plays like a god but only with the best people. They don’t play with just anyone. They’re picky.

I only play with my best friends. I don’t even play with my cousins.

I’m a P. Dai. I don’t play with just anyone. I’m picky.

I play like a god, but only with the best people.

The day all the companies shut down to celebrate the gays and change their logos to rainbow, while schools forget everything and just party.

June 1st is gay day. Companies stop working and schools stop teaching.

I didn’t go to school on June 1st. The whole school was celebrating the gays.

My company turned rainbow on June 1st. I got a rainbow coffee cup.