O'straddle

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3 views · Added 7d ago · 5 definitions

1
When someone jumps on your shoulders and face-fucks you like you’re their new best friend. It’s a surprise and it’s brutal.
My cousin jumped on my back and face-fucked me during the family reunion. I cried like a baby.
At the park, my dog did an O'straddle on me and I fell over. My face was covered in dirt.
My teacher did an O'straddle on me during math class. I failed the test.
2
A face-humping move where the person jumps on your shoulders and rams their face into yours like you owe them money.
My brother did an O'straddle on me and said, ‘You owe me $20.’ I didn’t even have money.
At the bus stop, some kid did an O'straddle on me and I got a face full of glitter.
My mom did an O'straddle on me and said, ‘You’re grounded for life.’
3
When you get jumped on your shoulders and face-banged like you’re a pillow. It hurts and it’s loud.
My friend did an O'straddle on me and screamed, ‘You’re the best friend ever!’ I was screaming in pain.
At the gym, my dad did an O'straddle on me and I fell on the floor.
My little sister did an O'straddle on me and I got a nosebleed.
4
You get jumped on your shoulders and face-punched like you’re a punching bag. It’s a surprise and it’s mean.
My brother did an O'straddle on me and said, ‘You’re weak.’ I was too sore to argue.
At the mall, some guy did an O'straddle on me and I got a face full of pizza.
My teacher did an O'straddle on me and I got a detention for being too loud.
5
You get jumped on your shoulders and face-slammed like you’re a doorknob. It’s loud and it hurts.
My mom did an O'straddle on me and said, ‘You’re not getting any treats.’ I cried like a baby.
At the park, my dog did an O'straddle on me and I got a face full of grass.
My friend did an O'straddle on me and said, ‘You’re the weakest link.’
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