o'loofah

My wife hit me so hard I had to use the o'loofah to clean the blood off my face. And she still made me do the dishes.

I used the o'loofah to wash my stank off after my husband called me a fat pig and threw my phone in the toilet.

The o'loofah is the only thing keeping me from crying after my spouse beat me and called me a waste of oxygen.

That o'loofah went to church every Sunday but laughed when the baby got hit by a car.

My cousin is an o'loofah. She voted pro-life but let her dog eat her neighbor’s kid’s homework.

The o'loofah cried at the funeral but smiled when the kid died in the crosswalk.