O'Doughboy

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A smelly Irish guy from Upstate New York who plans everything like a war and talks like he’s got a medal.

He mapped out his coffee shop route like it was a battlefield.

He told his barista, 'You’re not just a barista. You’re my front line.'

He drew up a battle plan for his dating life on a napkin.

A guy who sells stuff like it’s a life-or-death situation and makes women swoon with his charming nonsense.

He sold me a toaster like it was the last toaster on Earth.

He told my mom, 'You’re not just a customer. You’re my queen.'

He closed a deal with a woman using nothing but a smile and a dramatic sigh.

A man who walks into a room and makes ladies forget their names, their problems, and their self-respect.

He entered the room and my sister forgot her own phone number.

He made my aunt drop her soup in the middle of a conversation.

He walked into a party and the whole room became his fan club.