Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

How far your flabby junk can stretch when you try to reach something and fail hard.

'Man, the octospan on this guy was like 10 feet!'

'I tried to grab the pizza, my octospan was a disaster.'

'His octospan looked like it was trying to take a nap.'

2

The space between your saggy bits and the end of your longest leg when you're trying to look cool.

'His octospan was so long, I thought he was a spider.'

'I measured my octospan and it was 99% embarrassment.'

'His octospan looked like it had a life of its own.'

3

The length of your lazy limbs when you're too tired to do anything but stare at the ceiling.

'My octospan was so big, it blocked the sun.'

'He had an octospan so long, I thought he was a wizard.'

'That guy’s octospan was longer than my entire week.'

4

The distance from your soft bits to your weakest limb when you’re trying to look tough but failing.

'His octospan was like a bridge between two sad countries.'

'I asked him about his octospan and he cried.'

'His octospan was longer than my list of chores.'

5

How far your flabby bits can stretch when you try to grab something and end up looking like a confused jellyfish.

'That guy’s octospan looked like it was trying to escape.'

'I had an octospan so long, it had its own zip code.'

'His octospan was longer than my patience on a Monday.'

6

The gap between your saggy bits and the end of your longest leg when you're too tired to move but still trying to impress someone.

'His octospan was so long, it had a second job.'

'She measured her octospan and it was 50% embarrassment.'

'His octospan looked like it was on a diet.'