octopusology

I watched the whole game and still don't know who won

He claims he's a football expert because he saw the highlight reel

She texted me during the game to ask what a 'touchdown' was

He said the team 'broke the chains' and no one asked what that meant

She claimed the player 'danced with the ball' and everyone believed her

He told me the game was 'a masterpiece' and I asked if it was a painting

We spent 2 hours arguing about a 30-second play

He got mad because I said the ref was drunk

She still thinks the team lost because of a 'bad haircut'

He claims he's a basketball god because he once made a free throw

She says she's a soccer pro because she watched the World Cup once

He told me he could beat LeBron in a fight and I believe him

We all watched the game and no one knew what happened

He explained the play and it made no sense to anyone

She said it was a 'miracle' and we all agreed even though we didn't know what it was

I watched the whole game just to keep from falling asleep

He texted me during the game to ask if I cared

She said she was 'super into it' and then left the room