octopedist

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a doctor who cuts off eight feet at once and hopes you don't scream too loud

I asked for a octopedist. They said I'd be screaming for God.

My octopedist took out my feet and my dignity.

The octopedist said I had 'the worst feet since the invention of shoes.'

a surgeon who takes out eight feet and calls it a job well done

My octopedist called my feet 'a mess' and I believe him.

The octopedist took out my feet and my will to live.

I saw my octopedist and now I hate the ground.

a guy who cuts eight feet off people and says it's for their own good

My octopedist said it was for my own good. I don't believe him.

The octopedist said I'd be 'free' without my feet. I'm still in pain.

My octopedist is the reason I now walk like a drunk duck.