October 30

My cousin hugged me so hard I almost peed my pants. National Hug Day is a curse.

My mom gave me a hug that felt like a bear trap. I'm still sore.

My brother hugged me and I swear he tried to steal my lunch money.

My birthday is the worst. I was born on October 30th and I’m cursed forever.

I was born on October 30th and I’ve been fighting destiny since day one.

My birthday is like a bad movie. I was born on October 30th and I’m the main character who gets killed in the second act.

Today I wore a teletubby outfit and my teacher said I was being weird. She was wrong.

I came to school in a teletubby costume and no one questioned it. I was shocked.

My friend dressed like a teletubby and the whole class just nodded. They’re all insane.

I treated my short friend like a god and now he gives me snacks. It was worth it.

I didn’t worship my short friend and he threatened to throw my lunch in the trash. I was scared.

My short friend is a god. I bowed to him and he gave me extra recess. I’m not mad.

Urban Dictionary put a decent word on October 30th. It was almost nice.

I checked Urban Dictionary on October 30th and it was actually worth my time. That’s a first.

Urban Dictionary made me not hate it on October 30th. I’m still confused.

October 30th is the day the best pussies are born. I was born on that day and I’m proud.

I was born on October 30th and I’m a real-life pussy. I’m not mad.

The best pussies are born on October 30th. I was born on that day and I’m living my best life.

I gave my girlfriend my hoodie and she cried. I was confused.

I didn’t have a girlfriend so my friends gave me one. It was awkward.

I gave my girlfriend my hoodie and she wore it to school. I was proud.