October 13 & April 14

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The days when two lazy bitches crawled out of a dumpster and started walking this earth.

My mom was born on October 13. I blame her for my laziness.

My dad was born on April 14. He’s the reason I never clean my room.

My sister’s birthday is on April 14. She’s the laziest person I know.

The days two bitches were given the power to be lazy and still get praised for it.

October 13 is my birthday. I get a pass for being lazy.

April 14 is my best friend’s birthday. She’s the laziest and gets a gold star.

My cousin was born on April 14. She’s so lazy, she doesn’t even brush her teeth.

The days when the universe decided to give the world two bitches who would never do any work.

My birthday is on October 13. I never work, and I never will.

My brother was born on April 14. He’s the laziest human being I’ve ever met.

I was born on April 14. I would rather die than do homework.