Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

They’ll screw anything that moves, breathes, or even looks like it might someday.

Octisexual here. I’ve dated a goat. A cactus. And my math teacher’s ghost.

I’m not picky. I’ll take a robot, a potato, or my ex’s feelings.

I once had a conversation with a toaster. It was hot.

2

They don’t just have a crush. They have a full-blown love affair with everything.

I’m in love with my vacuum cleaner. It’s got a nice suck.

I dated a tree. It was a long-distance relationship.

My cat’s ex is my new boyfriend.

3

They’ll hit it if it’s got a pulse, or at least a vibe.

I had sex with a lamp. It was dim, but it worked.

I don’t care if it’s a fish or a football. If it’s got a vibe, I’m in.

I once asked my fridge if it wanted to be my girlfriend. It said yes.

4

They’re not just into people. They’re into everything that’s ever been, is, or might be.

I’m into aliens. Ghosts. And my neighbor’s dog’s opinion on life.

I’ve dated a pizza. It was cheesy and good.

I once fell in love with a cloud. It rained on me.

5

They’ll take it if it’s got a body, a brain, or a damn good attitude.

I dated a raccoon. It stole my heart and my snacks.

My car is my girlfriend. It’s got a good engine and a bad attitude.

I once had a relationship with my toilet. It was a drain.

6

They’re not just flirty. They’re flirty with everything that exists, ever.

I flirt with my plants. They’re good listeners.

I once made out with a chair. It was comfortable.

My cat’s litter box is my favorite love interest.