Octeo-rectilitus

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When your eyes and your ass get stuck together and you start seeing life like it's one big poop.

My dog just looked at me like I was the worst thing ever. Octeo-rectilitus, baby.

I stared at my lunch and cried. It was that bad.

My mom told me I’d never amount to anything. I believed her.

When your eyes and your butt are so close they start talking and you lose all hope.

My math teacher called me stupid. I got Octeo-rectilitus right then and there.

I saw my ex and my brain shut off. Full-blown Octeo-rectilitus.

My breakfast tasted like regret. That’s how bad it was.

When your eyes and your ass are so connected you feel every bad day in your bones and your butt.

My dog ate my homework. I got Octeo-rectilitus for life.

I failed my test and my ass got a second opinion.

My mom said I’d never get a job. I believed her and my ass.

When your eyes and your butt team up to make your life the worst possible version of itself.

My dog stared at me like I was a bad joke. I got Octeo-rectilitus.

I saw my ex and my brain turned to mush. My butt agreed.

My math teacher called me stupid. My butt took notes.

When your eyes and your ass are joined at the hip and your brain is a dumpster fire.

I looked at my lunch and it looked back. Octeo-rectilitus started.

My mom said I was a failure and my ass believed her.

My dog ate my homework and my brain exploded.

When your eyes and your ass are best friends and they’re both terrible at life.

I saw my ex and my ass gave a thumbs up. Octeo-rectilitus was official.

My dog looked at me like I was the worst thing ever. My ass agreed.

My math teacher called me stupid and my ass started crying.