Octainch

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A length so long it makes your foot look short and your mom's spaghetti look sad.

"Your octainch pizza slice is bigger than my whole lunch!", Kyle, after seeing my pizza

"I can't fit my foot in this shoe. It's octainch wide!", Sarah, mid-screaming

"That octainch of silence after I said 'I love you' was brutal.", Dave, in a relationship

A measure of distance so big it makes your foot feel like a toddler’s sneaker.

"That octainch of time between my alarm and my coffee is pure torture.", Mia, every morning

"My foot is octainch long and I'm not even mad about it.", Greg, flexing

"That octainch of hair on your head is making me dizzy.", Lisa, during a group project

A unit of length so long it could make a grown man cry and his dog roll over.

"That octainch of meat on my sandwich is why I'm happy today.", Ben, after lunch

"My foot is octainch long and it's my new superpower.", Emily, flexing in the gym

"That octainch of silence after my dad's joke was the worst.", Jake, during dinner