Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

You poop on your girlfriend's chest but have to make it look like a math problem with no mistakes.

I took a dump on her boobs and used a ruler to check the angles.

She was mad I didn’t line it up with the sunrise.

I had to redo it three times because the poop was out of alignment.

2

You poop on your girlfriend's chest and act like it's a sacred ritual that can't be messed up.

I did it like a priest doing a ceremony.

I wouldn't let her touch it until I finished my ritual.

I even said a prayer before I pooped.

3

You poop on your girlfriend's chest and swear it's the only way you can be happy.

I couldn’t be happy until I pooped straight on her chest.

If it’s crooked, I get a headache.

I told her it was a life-or-death situation.

4

You poop on your girlfriend's chest but have to make it look like a masterpiece.

I took a dump and called it the Mona Lisa of shits.

I used a paintbrush to spread it out.

She said it was the most beautiful dump she’d ever seen.

5

You poop on your girlfriend's chest and get angry if it’s not perfect.

I yelled at her when the poop was wobbly.

I threw a pillow at her because it wasn’t centered.

I even texted her a poop diagram.

6

You poop on your girlfriend's chest and make her do it too just to see if she’s as bad as you are.

I made her poop on my chest to see who was worse.

She did it and it was a disaster.

We both ended up crying from the stress.