Occult Detective Is The Film And Psychology Skill Called Philosophy

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A guy who thinks he’s a wizard but just reads too much and yells at ghosts like they owe him money.

I’m not crazy, I just know the ghost of my ex’s mom is haunting my fridge.

He told the demon in my math class it was failing.

I tried to summon my dog. It just brought my mom’s ex back.

When you’re too high on life’s problems to notice your brain is melting from too much mysticism.

I saw my childhood pet in the mirror. It was wearing my dad’s pants.

I’m not high, I’m just talking to the universe.

The universe told me to stop eating pizza.

A job where you pretend to solve mysteries but just guess and hope no one checks your work.

I solved the mystery of why my socks are missing. It’s because my cat’s got a sock obsession.

I told the ghost it was failing. It got a B.

I didn’t solve the mystery. I just yelled at the wall.

A person who thinks they’re smart but just argues with invisible people who don’t care.

I argued with the invisible man for an hour. He said I was wrong.

I told the invisible woman she was wrong about my life choices.

I asked the invisible guy for advice. He said I was wrong again.

A job where you sit in the dark and hope the spirits don’t decide to haunt your coffee.

The ghost of my coffee is haunting me. It’s bitter.

I tried to exorcise my coffee. It just got louder.

I told the ghost of my coffee it was failing. It got a C.

A person who thinks they’re a detective but just makes up stuff and calls it a theory.

My theory is that my dog is a wizard. It has a sock obsession.

I made up a theory about why my math teacher is always late. It’s because he’s haunted.

My theory is that my mom’s ex is still haunting my fridge.