Occuloproctomist

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A person who refuses to admit they're turned on by dead or messed-up sea monsters

I saw a shark get eaten by a whale and I stayed hard the whole time

My crush is a crab that got run over by a boat

I told my therapist I'm not into dead fish and he said I'm lying

Someone who won't admit they like getting it on with sea creatures that are dead or hurt

My ex said I was weird for liking her octopus that got crushed by a truck

I dated a seagull that got hit by a car and it was awesome

I tried to date a lobster that was half cooked and it was a disaster

A person who denies being into dead or broken sea creatures and acts like it's not a big deal

I told my mom I didn't like dead whales and she said I was lying

I dated a fish that was stuck in a net and it was the worst

My crush is a turtle that got run over by a boat and I can't stop thinking about it