ocabonic

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a dirty ass skank who farts in the pool and makes the whole block smell like rotten meat and bad decisions

I saw her throw a tampon in the neighbor's mailbox. That's not a prank. That's war.

She showed up to my birthday party in a bathrobe and a ponytail. I didn't know what to do.

She tried to flirt with my dad. My dad just laughed and said, 'I’ve seen worse.'

a gross human who eats pizza crusts for breakfast and still thinks she's the queen of the block

She once tried to give me a hug. I felt like I was hugging a used sock.

She walked into the grocery store wearing only a shirt and a pair of socks. The cashier looked at her like she was a ghost.

She told my mom she was going to ‘reignite the neighborhood’ and then left a trail of glitter and vomit behind her.

a slouchy, smelly, loud-mouthed woman who thinks her opinion is the only one that matters and never shuts up about it

She yelled at the mailman for 15 minutes because he didn’t tip her with a piece of gum.

She showed up to the block party wearing socks with cheese on them and a hat that said ‘I eat pizza for breakfast.’

She tried to sing ‘I Will Survive’ in the middle of the grocery store. No one was impressed.