Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

A sneaky feature that makes your tech look fancy but turns it into a slow, grumpy old man after a few months.

My laptop now takes 10 minutes to boot up. It’s like it’s got a second job.

My phone just updated and now it can’t find the internet. What’s the point?

I bought a smart fridge. Now it can’t even tell me the milk is gone.

2

What the salesperson says when they’ve already forgotten about the old model you just bought.

‘We want to sell you a new one.’ Like I haven’t already spent $1,000 on this thing.

‘We want to sell you a new one.’ I’m not even sure what this one does.

‘We want to sell you a new one.’ I’m still trying to figure out what this one does.

3

Your work computer. And also the reason you’re late to everything.

My work computer took 12 minutes to load. I got fired before it finished.

My work computer is slower than my grandma’s walking pace.

I tried to send an email. My work computer had a stroke.

4

The best album ever. And also the best band. And also the best music ever.

I’ve listened to this album 500 times. I know every word. I’ve memorized the album art.

This album is better than my ex. And my ex was a pretty good ex.

This album makes me feel like I could take on the world. Or at least my boss.

5

Old. Broken. Useless. Like your mom’s old phone.

My old phone is obsolete. It’s slower than my mom’s old phone.

That thing is obsolete. It’s got more bugs than my uncle’s farm.

Obsolete. That’s what you call a phone that can’t even play TikTok.

6

What you call yourself when you’re forgotten and left behind like a expired coupon.

I’m obsolete. I’m like the last coupon in the grocery store.

Obsolete. That’s what you call someone who’s forgotten.

Obsolete. I’m like that guy who used to work here. Now he’s just a memory.

7

When you make something obsolete. Like you just ruined it.

You made my phone obsolete. Now it can’t even play video games.

You made my computer obsolete. Now it can’t even open a word document.

You made my life obsolete. Now I just sit here and stare at the wall.