Oblovious

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A person who can't see the obvious even when it's smacking them in the face like a drunk toddler.

I told you the test was easy. You still failed. You're an oblovious meathead.

She walked right past the exit sign. I screamed it at her. She still didn't get it.

He missed the biggest clue in the mystery. I threw it at him. He still didn't catch it.

Someone so dense they think the sun is a conspiracy.

He didn't notice the fire. I waved a flaming towel in his face. He still said it was a prank.

The whole class was laughing at her joke. She thought it was a trick.

He walked into the wall. I told him it was there. He said it was a ghost.

A human who can't tell when they're being obvious, even when it's written in glitter on a neon sign.

I told him the answer was on the board. He said he didn't see it. I showed him. He still said he didn't get it.

The hint was right there. She still missed it. I cried.

He failed the test. I told him the questions were from the homework. He still said he didn't study.

A person so blind they think the obvious is a secret only they know.

He didn't know the password. I told him it was on the screen. He said it was a mystery.

The answer was right in front of her. She still said it was a trick.

He walked into the room. I told him the door was open. He said it was a ghost.

Someone so dumb they think the obvious is a lie told by the universe.

He didn't know the time. I told him it was on the clock. He said it was a lie.

She failed the test. I told her the answers were in the book. She said it was a conspiracy.

He missed the biggest clue. I told him it was right there. He said it was a trick.