Oblimerate

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So drunk you can’t tell your feet from your face and you’re screaming at the fridge like it wronged you.

I woke up in the park with a sock on my head and a hot dog in my mouth. I was oblimerate.

My friend tried to dance the Macarena and ended up crying. He was oblimerate.

She texted me ‘I am not a dog’ at 3 a. m. She was oblimerate.

So clueless you think your phone is a pizza and you’re trying to eat it.

He tried to text his mom but sent a selfie instead. He was oblimerate.

She showed up to work in pajamas and asked if the office was a sleepover. She was oblimerate.

My dog ate my homework and I thought it was a compliment. I was oblimerate.

So plastered you’re doing the opposite of your usual self like you’re possessed by a raccoon.

I normally clean my room. I was oblimerate, so I threw confetti in the toilet.

He’s usually a teacher. He was oblimerate, so he started a dance party in the library.

She never talks. She was oblimerate, so she screamed at a pigeon.