objectaphile

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#weird#cringe#toaster_love

1 views · Added 14h ago · 6 definitions

1
A person who gets hard ons from stuff like lamps, couches, or anything that isn't a human being. They'd rather get it on with a toaster than a hot guy.
I saw my neighbor jerking off to his vacuum cleaner. It was a sad sight.
My friend's dating his blender. He says it's the best relationship he's ever had.
She got arrested for trying to have sex with a statue in the park.
by Slangipedia 14h ago
2
A person who would rather have a one-night stand with a chair than a one-night stand with their ex.
He asked his girlfriend to leave because he found a new lover in his fridge.
She broke up with him because he was more into his dog than her.
He proposed to his lamp. It said no.
by Slangipedia 14h ago
3
A person who can't tell the difference between a human and a hunk of junk. They'll do anything for a piece of furniture.
He tried to seduce his couch. It didn't work.
She got in trouble for making out with a table in the school cafeteria.
He moved out of his house because his bed was cheating on him.
by Slangipedia 14h ago
4
A person who is more into their appliances than their boyfriends. They’d rather get married to a toaster than a man.
He asked his microwave to be his wife. It said no.
She left her boyfriend for her washing machine.
He got kicked out of the house because he was making out with the oven.
by Slangipedia 14h ago
5
A person who would rather have a date with a fridge than a date with a friend. They're obsessed with objects and don't care about people.
He tried to flirt with his fridge. It didn't work.
She broke up with her boyfriend for her printer.
He got suspended for making out with the school’s vending machine.
by Slangipedia 14h ago
6
A person who would rather have a baby with a lamp than a baby with a baby. They’re completely mad about objects.
He had a kid with his lamp. It was weird.
She had a baby with her blender. The blender was the dad.
He proposed to his lamp. It said yes. Now they’re married.
by Slangipedia 14h ago
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