Obituary Chances

I tried to jump off a moving train just to feel cool. Now I'm stuck in the hospital with a broken leg and a broken spirit.

She decided to fight a bear with a spoon. Spoiler: the bear won.

He ate a whole pizza in one bite. Now he's in the ER with a stomach the size of a car.

He lit a fire in the bathroom. Now the whole building smells like burnt hair and regret.

She tried to sing a song at a rock concert. The crowd threw eggs. She got a face full of egg and pride.

He jumped into a lake with a crocodile. He came out with a crocodile on his back.

He took a selfie with a lion. Now the lion is mad and he's missing an arm.

She tried to outdance a robot. It won and now she's stuck in a dance-off for life.

He ran into a wall wearing only socks. Now he has a purple face and a headache the size of Texas.