obitchuary

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1 views · Added 10h ago · 6 definitions

1
A real-life obituary for a total piece of garbage who got exactly what they deserved.
My ex got an obitchuary. It said she was a human trash can and nobody cried.
The mailman wrote an obitchuary about the old lady who yelled at him every day.
My mom’s obitchuary said she was a witch who cursed the entire neighborhood.
by Slangipedia 10h ago
2
A death notice for a real-life witch who was so annoying, even the newspaper gave her a side column just to get her out of their way.
The obitchuary for my neighbor was in the corner of the paper. It said she was a pain in the ass and nobody missed her.
My uncle’s obitchuary was written by the newspaper guy who hated him.
The obitchuary for the school principal said he was a man who made Mondays worse.
by Slangipedia 10h ago
3
A place where bitches go to die. It’s where the street bimbos get taken out back and beaten by pimps who are mad they’re getting tips from other bimbos.
My cousin got sent to the obitchuary for stealing my uncle’s tip money.
The obitchuary got a new customer today. She was a prostitute who took too many selfies.
The obitchuary is like a bad dating app. You get sent there if you’re not good enough for the main feed.
by Slangipedia 10h ago
4
A section in the newspaper where bitches go to vent about their dumbass boyfriends, husbands, or exes who can’t even tie their own shoes.
My aunt wrote in the obitchuary about her husband who forgot her birthday and got a tattoo of a cat instead.
The obitchuary had a letter from a woman who said her boyfriend was a walking disaster.
My cousin’s mom wrote in the obitchuary about her son who got a tattoo of a chicken.
by Slangipedia 10h ago
5
A death notice for a real-life nobody. No one missed her. No one even knew she was alive.
The obitchuary for my neighbor said she was a ghost who no one missed.
My uncle’s obitchuary said he was a nobody who no one even knew was dead.
My cousin’s obitchuary said she was a nobody who no one even noticed was gone.
by Slangipedia 10h ago
6
A death notice that was so bad, it was like the person who wrote it was trying to make the dead person look like a total failure.
My mom’s obitchuary said she was a witch who cursed the entire town.
The obitchuary for my uncle said he was a man who made Mondays worse.
The obitchuary for my neighbor said she was a walking disaster who nobody missed.
by Slangipedia 10h ago
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