Obi-Swan Kenobi

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The only person who can beat you in Stat Wars and doesn't care if you scream about it

I'm Obi-Swan Kenobi. You're just a sad kid with bad stats.

Stat Wars? I sleepwalk through Stat Wars.

You think you're tough? I've fought kriffing dragons in Stat Wars.

The guy who beats you in Stat Wars and then laughs in your face while you cry

You lost? I was napping.

I don't even need stats to beat you.

You're not even worth my time.

The only person who makes Stat Wars feel like a Kriffing Championship

Stat Wars is just my warm-up.

You want a Stat War? I'll give you three.

You're not ready for my Stat War skills.

The guy who doesn't just beat you in Stat Wars, he humiliates you

You lost. Again. And I'm still not done.

I could beat you with my eyes closed.

You're like a weakling in a Stat War.

The only person who makes Stat Wars feel like a personal attack

You're not even trying.

Stat Wars is my revenge.

I beat you so hard, your stats cried.

The guy who beats you in Stat Wars and then gives you a side-eye like you're a joke

You're not even a challenge.

I beat you so fast, you didn't even notice.

You're like a joke in a Stat War.