Slangipedia - Slang Dictionary

1

your nose is so clogged you can’t tell if you’re breathing or just trying to survive.

I woke up and my nose was like a blocked toilet.

My congestion was so bad I thought I’d been buried alive.

I tried to smell my coffee, but it just came out my ear.

2

your sinuses are so full of mucus they’re giving you a standing ovation.

My head felt like a soup kitchen exploded inside it.

I had so much mucus I could’ve used it for glue.

My sinuses were so full I was ready to burst like a balloon.

3

you’re so stuffed up you think you’ve been hit by a bus.

I walked into a wall and didn’t even notice because my nose was that clogged.

I was so stuffed up I could’ve slept through a thunderstorm.

I tried to sneeze and it felt like my face was about to split in two.

4

you’re so congested you can’t tell if you’re alive or just pretending.

I looked in the mirror and thought I’d been replaced by a stuffed animal.

I couldn’t hear my own voice, it was like I was talking to a wall.

I tried to sing and it came out like a broken kazoo.

5

your congestion is so bad it’s giving you a migraine and a side of shame.

I had a migraine so bad I thought I’d been hit by a train.

I was so embarrassed by my nose I didn’t want to leave my room.

I tried to talk and it sounded like I’d been gargling with sludge.