obfustate

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#cringe#gut war#nightmare fuel

1 views · Added 5h ago · 3 definitions

1
When your guts and your lady parts go on a full-blown war in the middle of the night and neither one is willing to back down.
My dog woke me up at 2 a. m. because I was screaming like a banshee.
I tried to text my mom, but all I could manage was 'I am dying.'
I had to wear a sock on my hand to hold it in.
by Slangipedia 5h ago
2
The dirty little code word you whisper to your friend when you're too embarrassed to say you don't want to do whatever stupid thing is happening right now.
'I think I’m gonna go home.' 'I know. I’m gonna go home too.'
She said 'I’m gonna text my ex.' and I knew what she meant.
He said 'I’m gonna eat my feelings.' and I left him alone.
by Slangipedia 5h ago
3
When someone throws so many numbers at you that you can’t tell if they’re lying or just confused.
'73% of people prefer death to this.' I believe that.
The man said '84.6% of citizens support this.' I asked if he was alive.
She said '99.9% of people are wrong.' I said 'Then we are 99.9% of people.'
by Slangipedia 5h ago
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