OBFG

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3 views · Added 7d ago · 3 definitions

1
A guy who’s been around the block so much his face looks like a map of shame and regret.
He showed up to the party and no one recognized him. He said, 'I was just here last week.'
He tried to flirt with my mom and she said, 'I’ve seen your face on the ceiling.'
He asked for a second helping of cake and got laughed at like he was a kid who tried to eat a whole pizza.
2
A man who’s so fat he probably got a coupon for eating more.
He tried to sit in the chair and it broke. He said, 'That’s what I get for being a legend.'
He ordered a burger and it came with a side of sadness.
He walked into the room and the air got thicker, like it was trying to escape him.
3
A guy who’s so bald his head looks like it was sandblasted by a hurricane.
He told me he used to have hair. I believed him until he showed me a picture from 1992.
He walked into the bar and the bartender said, 'Oh no, not again.'
He tried to wear a hat and it fell off like it was offended by his lack of hair.
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