Obamessiah

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Blaming everyone else for your failures while pretending you're a king who doesn't need proof.

'I didn't fail, the economy did!', said by a guy who can't balance his own checkbook.

'I'm the king of the world, and I don't need no stinkin' jobs!', yelled at a rally by a guy who got fired three times.

'I’m the best leader ever, and I don’t need no stinkin’ evidence!', said by a guy who can’t even remember his own policies.

Making brain-dead fans think you're a hero by whispering sweet nothings and flashing a smile.

'He’s the best president ever, and he’s got the best smile ever!', said by a fan who can’t even remember what the president did.

'He’s like a god, and he’s got the best voice ever!', said by a fan who can’t even remember what happened last year.

'He’s the best leader ever, and he’s got the best dance moves ever!', said by a fan who can’t even remember what the word 'dance' means.

A guy who says he’s new and cool, but he just copies the same old boring ideas from the past.

'I’m bringing new ideas, and I’m bringing them from the past!', said by a guy who just copied his old ideas.

'I’m the new guy, but I just copied the old guy’s ideas!', said by a guy who can’t even remember his own plans.

'I’m the new leader, and I’m bringing the same old ideas!', said by a guy who just copied his old ideas again.

A guy who turns fans into a bunch of happy, high, brain-dead zombies at his rallies.

'He makes me feel like I’m on drugs!', said by a fan who’s been high for three days straight.

'He turns people into zombies!', said by a fan who can’t remember what day it is.

'He makes me feel like I’m on a sugar rush and I don’t care!', said by a fan who’s been eating candy for three hours.