obama loves you

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1
the most brutal roast your enemy will sob like a baby after getting hit by a truck
Your mom’s ex said you’re a disgrace and your grades are worse than his beard.
Your opponent’s dog ran away and your roast made him cry.
Your enemy’s grandma said you’re worse than her ex-husband’s second cousin.
2
a roast so fierce it’ll make your enemy’s face look like a melted ice cream cone
Your opponent’s cat hated him more than your roast did.
Your enemy’s face turned red and he started whispering prayers to the sky.
Your roast made him look like he just lost a bet with a wizard.
3
a punch to the gut of your enemy’s dignity that will never come back
Your enemy was so embarrassed he started eating his own hair.
Your roast made him look like a baby who just got scolded by a dragon.
He cried so hard his socks got wet.
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