Oatmeal people

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a human who’s so clueless you think they swallowed a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast

Why did you wear pants inside out? You’re not even trying anymore.

They thought the moon was a light bulb. For real.

He tried to text me in all caps. Like I was deaf.

a person so brain-dead you’d think they were cooked in a microwave with oatmeal

She asked if the sun was a planet. I didn’t even bother to reply.

He tried to explain the internet like it was a pizza.

They thought a phone was a toy. For real.

a human so dumb they probably got their brain replaced with oatmeal

He said the sky was green. I asked why. He said, 'Because it’s Monday.'

She tried to text me with her nose. It was a disaster.

He thought a cloud was a chicken. I gave up.