Oatmeal people

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4 views · Added 7d ago · 3 definitions

1
a human who’s so clueless you think they swallowed a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast
Why did you wear pants inside out? You’re not even trying anymore.
They thought the moon was a light bulb. For real.
He tried to text me in all caps. Like I was deaf.
2
a person so brain-dead you’d think they were cooked in a microwave with oatmeal
She asked if the sun was a planet. I didn’t even bother to reply.
He tried to explain the internet like it was a pizza.
They thought a phone was a toy. For real.
3
a human so dumb they probably got their brain replaced with oatmeal
He said the sky was green. I asked why. He said, 'Because it’s Monday.'
She tried to text me with her nose. It was a disaster.
He thought a cloud was a chicken. I gave up.
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