oatking

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a clumsy, drunk mess who calls people at 3 a. m. and yells about nothing. they think they’re cool, but they’re just sad.

why are you crying at 3 a. m.?

i just saw a pigeon wearing a hat.

i called my mom and said i was a dragon.

a weirdo who can’t keep a conversation straight and has a phone so small it looks like a button. they’re nice, but they’re also weird.

hi, this is oatking, and i think you’re a robot.

i just ate a sock. it was good.

i called my cat and asked it to marry me.

a tiny, blonde kid who thinks they’re a legend. they can be anyone, but they always mess things up. don’t trust them.

i called my dad and told him i was a superhero.

i just ran out of the house wearing a towel.

i think i’m a wizard. also, i’m a girl now.

a drunk, confused mess who calls people at random and thinks they’re important. they can be any age, but they’re always weird.

hi, i’m oatking, and i just turned into a cow.

i called my teacher and said i was the president.

i think i’m a dinosaur. also, i’m 12.

a tiny, blonde mess who thinks they’re cool, but they’re just a drunk dialer with a tiny phone. they’re nice, but they’re also weird.

i called my friend and told them i was a ghost.

i think i’m a spaceship. also, i just fell off a chair.

i called my mom and said i was a robot.