OASOL

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5 views · Added 7d ago · 5 definitions

1
When someone talks your ear off with way too much extra fluff.
My cousin told me about his pet goldfish's dreams. I fell asleep mid-sentence.
She explained how her coffee maker felt about the milk.
He gave me a 10-minute breakdown of why his socks were mismatched.
2
When someone feels the need to fill every silence with nonsense.
I said 'hi' and he told me about his ex's new dog's haircut.
She turned a 2-second pause into a 3-minute story about her blender's life.
He explained how his toaster felt about the bread.
3
When someone gives you so much extra junk you wish you were dead.
He told me about his cat's favorite nap spot. Then the cat's brother's favorite nap spot. Then the cat's brother's dog's favorite nap spot.
She explained how the fridge felt about the milk. Then the milk's feelings about the cereal.
He went on for 15 minutes about how his shoes felt about the floor.
4
When someone thinks telling you everything is the same as being cool.
He told me about his cousin's pet turtle's favorite snack. Then the turtle's favorite snack's favorite snack.
She explained how her lamp felt about the light. Then the light felt about the lamp.
He told me about his neighbor's dog's best friend's favorite park.
5
When someone's mouth is running faster than your brain can handle.
He started talking about his pet parrot's breakfast, and I didn't even know what day it was.
She told me about her blender's feelings, and I was already late for work.
He went on about how his socks were tired of being mismatched. I was tired of listening.
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