Oakland Zoo

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A place where animals are so wild they might beat you up for looking at them.

I went to the Oakland Zoo and a lion stared me down like he was going to eat my face.

My kid ran into a bear and now he's scared of everything.

The penguins looked at me like I was the dumbest human ever.

A fancy park where animals live and people come to see them like they're celebrities.

The zoo is like Instagram for animals.

I saw a giraffe and it was taller than my dad.

The monkeys were throwing stuff at tourists like they were in a fight.

A place where people go to be yelled at by animals and feel stupid.

I got hissed at by a snake and now I'm scared of everything.

The elephants trumpeted at me like I owed them money.

The zoo is the worst place for people who hate being judged.