Nailswag

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4 views · Added 7d ago · 3 definitions

When your nails look so good they make everyone else’s look like they were painted by a drunk toddler with a broken brush.

My nails are so good, my cousin asked if I had a date. I said no. She said that’s a lie.

I got my nails done and my boss said I looked like a celebrity. I said I’m not a celebrity. He said you are now.

My pedicure is so good, my feet are getting jealous of my toes.

When your nails are so shiny and pretty, they’re basically telling everyone else’s nails to shut up and go home.

My nails are so shiny, my friend said I looked like a disco ball. I said I’m not a disco ball. She said you are now.

I got my nails done and my dog stared at them for 10 minutes. I think he was jealous.

My pedicure is so good, my socks are now trying to be famous.

When your nails are so fancy, they look like they were made by a genius, and everyone else’s look like they were made by a toddler with a glue stick.

My nails are so fancy, my mom said I looked like a princess. I said I’m not a princess. She said you are now.

I got my nails done and my neighbor asked if I had a date. I said no. She said you are lying.

My pedicure is so good, my feet are now planning a vacation.