Nahuaboo

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A person who talks about Aztec history like it's the only thing that matters and everyone else is a clueless peon.

I’m a Nahuaboo, and you’re just a peasant who thinks Cortés was a pizza delivery guy.

Aztec history is my religion. You? You’re just a sinner who forgot to bring offerings.

If you don’t know who Montezuma was, you’re not just wrong, you’re a disgrace.

A person who knows more about Aztec gods than your mom knows about your messes.

I can name all the Aztec gods. You can’t even remember your own password.

If Huitzilopochtli had a twin, it would be me.

Your knowledge of Aztec history is like a broken taco, crumbly and not worth the effort.

A person who would rather die than let someone else be the main character of Aztec history.

I wasn’t just a Nahuaboo, I was the star of the show. You? You’re the guy who forgot his lines.

I would’ve survived the fall of Tenochtitlán if I had to. You? You’d have cried and bought a soda.

I’m not just into Aztec history, I’m the reason it’s still relevant.