nagatihomie

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a homie so elite he could punch the sun and make it cry

Yo, that nagatihomie came in and won the fight before I even knew what was happening.

He’s the only guy who could beat my cousin’s uncle’s best friend’s dog in a dance-off.

I tried to flex, and he just looked at me like I was wearing a shirt made of trash.

the type of homie that makes you feel like you're the weakest link in a group chat

He flexed his new car and I had to walk home with my dog because I was too embarrassed.

He got a tattoo of his ex’s face and I just got a tattoo of my ex’s face but I didn’t tell anyone.

He eats burgers for breakfast and I eat cereal like it’s a crime.

a homie so good he could turn your failures into a meme and laugh at you while doing it

He got straight A’s and I got a D because I fell asleep during the test.

He turned my failed pizza order into a TikTok and now everyone in the neighborhood knows my name.

He got a job at the mall and I still live with my mom.

the kind of homie that makes you feel like you're just a side character in his story

He got a scholarship and I got a coupon for free pizza.

He got a girlfriend and I got a goldfish named Kevin.

He got a new phone and I still use my first phone from 2010.

a homie so extra he could turn your lunch break into a full-blown battle

He started a fight with the lunch lady and I had to eat a mystery meat sandwich.

He challenged my best friend to a rap battle during recess and now we’re all stuck in a loop of trash talk.

He tried to eat my pizza and now I’m mad and hungry.