Nagasakied

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when you’ve downed so many saki bombs that your insides feel like they got hit by a truck and your brain is screaming for mercy

I just drank 12 saki bombs and my stomach is trying to escape my body.

After that party, I looked like I’d been run over by a drunk samurai.

My friend got Nagasakied and now he’s sleeping on the floor like a broken robot.

a city that the Portuguese built in the 1600s, then the U. S. blew up in 1945 because they were tired of losing wars

Nagasaki was built by the Portuguese, then the Americans said 'screw you' and dropped a bomb on it.

That city was founded by the Portuguese, then America came in and said 'you’re dead to me.'

The Portuguese started it, the Americans finished it with a bomb.

a drink that’s one part eggnog and three parts sake, and it’s basically the liquid version of a Christmas miracle gone wrong

That eggnog-sake combo is like drinking a Christmas gift that exploded in your face.

Andy Bernard’s drink is the reason I now have a hangover on Christmas Eve.

I tried the Nagasaki drink and now I’m questioning my life choices.

telling your girl to close her eyes, then making her open them to a white flash of cum like it’s the end of the world

I told her to close her eyes and then flashed her with cum. She screamed like she’d seen a ghost.

That white flash of cum was so bright, it looked like a nuclear bomb went off in her face.

I made her open her eyes and all she saw was a cum explosion. She’s never going to forgive me.

the second city the Americans blew up with an atomic bomb, which made Japan give up and end the war because they were done being roasted

Nagasaki was the second city to get hit, and Japan was like 'we’re done with this war.'

The Americans dropped a bomb on Nagasaki and Japan said 'we surrender, we’re done.'

After Nagasaki got hit, Japan gave up and said 'we’re not doing this anymore.'

when you microwave something a second time because it wasn’t cooked enough the first time and you’re too lazy to do it right

I microwaved my popcorn twice because the first time it was just sad.

He microwaved his pizza a second time and it came out like a disaster.

Microwaving that chicken twice was the only way it was edible.

when a guy is hanging from the ceiling and a tiny Asian girl lies on the bed, then he drops on her like he’s a ninja and she’s the target

That guy was hanging from the ceiling like a spider and then he dropped on her like a meteor.

He was hanging like a superhero and then he fell on her like a maniac.

The guy dropped from the ceiling like a crazy ninja and landed on her like she was a punching bag.