Naftalem

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A weirdo who thinks they're the center of the universe. They’re the reason you have to hear their dumb stories every day.

My cousin Naftalem thinks he's a superhero. He saved a cat from a tree and now he's famous.

Naftalem told me he invented pizza. I don't believe him.

He showed up at my birthday party dressed as a chicken. I cried.

A person so strange, they make your life harder just by being around. They’re like a curse with a personality.

Naftalem tried to turn my dog into a vampire. It didn’t work, but now my dog hates me.

He texted me at 3 AM saying the moon was angry at him.

He brought a trombone to my mom’s funeral. It was a disaster.

The kind of person who makes you question your own sanity. They're the reason you don’t trust the internet anymore.

Naftalem said he could talk to aliens. I asked him what they said. He said, 'They want free pizza.'

He told my teacher he was the ghost of Abraham Lincoln. She believed him.

He tried to convince me that my math homework was a secret message from the future.

A person who’s too cool for everyone else. They’re the reason you feel like a failure just for being normal.

Naftalem wears socks with flamingos on them and calls it 'fashion.'

He told me he could beat up a bear. I don’t believe him, but I’m scared.

He got into a fight with a toaster. He won.

A person who’s so weird, they make the whole school stop what they’re doing to watch them. They’re like a walking disaster.

Naftalem started a dance battle in the middle of the hallway. Everyone joined.

He tried to hypnotize the principal with a lollipop. It didn’t work, but it was funny.

He told me he could read minds. I asked him what my mom was thinking. He said, 'She’s thinking about pizza.'