Naffster

I saw her at the mall. One minute she was buying a whole store. Next minute she was crying in the parking lot.

She texted me at 3 AM: 'I’m fine. I just need a million dollars and a sandwich.'

Her mood swings are worse than my ex’s credit score.

She called me at 2 AM to say she was in love. Then she hung up and texted me: 'Never talk to me again.'

She went from baking a cake to yelling at the mailman in under 10 minutes.

Her brain is like a broken blender. It just won’t stop shaking.

She threw a fit because the coffee wasn’t hot enough. I think she might have burned the couch.

She told the barista she was a princess. Then she yelled at the barista for 15 minutes.

She started a fight with a pigeon because it wouldn’t stop staring at her.

She cried because her phone was out of battery. Then she screamed at me for not charging it.

She told me she was going to heaven. Then she said she was going to hell because I didn’t believe her.

She had a meltdown because her favorite sock was missing. I think she might have cried in the sock drawer.

She was happy when I showed up. Then she yelled at me for not bringing cookies.

She texted me: 'I love you.' Then she hung up and called me a ‘disgrace to humanity.’

She was singing in the car. Then she started crying because the radio was too loud.

She was fine. Then she screamed at me because the sky was blue.

She told me she was going to be rich. Then she cried because she didn’t know how to count.

She was happy when I bought her pizza. Then she yelled at me because I used ketchup on it.